My Soul Has a Name

It's name is "The Cabin".

People won't understand it the way I do. The Cabin lives within me, but it's a place too, down by Gull Lake. Most of people who I talk don't get it. "You sit in a place, without TV, without Internet, and just...stare at the trees?" Yes, yes, I do.

The Cabin encompasses a way of life that drags me into a meditative state. It's slow. It let's you be alone. It let's you enjoy company without distraction. You actually - get this - play board games with your uncle. Or you take a long walk on the beach. You - get this, again - enjoy washing dishes by hand, as you overlook a calm breeze blowing over the back yard. If you hear your neighbours, it's inviting, not annoying. You take naps when you want them. You eat ice cream once a day. You enjoy the rain pouring down the glass windows. You sip your coffee on the deck in the sunshine. You want to make an excuse to mow the lawn, just to drag out the day and enjoy the outdoors. Most of all, you take the time to smile at people you pass on the road. 

I've actually only ever truly meditated once in my life. It was at The Cabin. I wet walking, and three hours passed, and I hadn't remembered walking that far, or even that I was walking until I snapped to reality, and realized I was at the beach walking back towards The Cabin. My mind had completely gone blank for three hours, and all I remembered was listening to the stillness of my surroundings. Solitude is the greatest blessing on this planet. It is so, so important to be alone.

The Cabin has become my test for those who become close to me. I've never intentionally tried to "test" anyone by bringing them out there, but I've always wondered why I tend to either become closer of drift apart from them after an invitation to The Cabin. This past weekend, Jon said to me, "I don't know why, but I always fall more in love with you when I'm out here". I responded very quickly with 

"because it's my soul"

Upon further inspection, that is the honest truth. The Cabin is the one place where I am completely myself, and feel free to live life in the pattern I wish. Few people get to see that, but when the do - if they seem to not respond well, or can't hack the way I operate, it seems like part of me has been rejected. Things don't seem the same anymore after that. Jon gets to see my soul, and he loves it, and he belongs at The Cabin, where my soul exists.

The Cabin will always be that special piece of me, whether in reality or in memory.