What I Learned on May 28 2016

Marriage is very, very, very new to me. So I'm not going to pretend I know a single thing about it. May 28 2016 is still a blur to me. I remember everything in such intricate detail, that it's started to unfold like a book in my brain. Prologue: eight months of planning, asking questions, asking for help. Chapter One: getting ready in my parents basement. Chapter Two: the ceremony. Chapter Three: family time taking photos. Chapter Four: pancakes for dinner. Chapter Five: our first dance. Epilogue: honeymoon in Hawaii. Yet, the entire meaning of it all continues to look fuzzy to me. I can't wait to figure it all out. 

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This is what I learned so far from my wedding:

1. You are More Loved Than People Let On

Every single person in the room was genuinely in love with our love. I felt the contagion spread from the minute I started walking down the aisle. 

I was expecting a few funny speeches, telling embarrassing stories about me and my husband, and not much more. Yet, everyone who came on stage genuinely expressed some form of love for us either as individuals or a couple. The amount of open mic speeches that took place at our wedding floored me. One in particular, from a friend I've known since kindergarten had me repeating her words for days, pondering over what moved her to overcome her fear of public speaking just to proclaim how much our friendship meant to her. For the record, it means the world to me, too.

2. People Help you because they want to, Not because you'll owe them

I had a really hard time asking people for help for the wedding. Out of 90 guests, I estimated about 30 of them helped us in some way, either right from the beginning, or for the midnight cleanup and little things that happened during the reception. I fully expected to pay each of them for their services, and thought nobody would help me if I didn't offer them some form of compensation. Over and over again, I was turned down for payment, free booze, or even the notion of "you don't have to get me a wedding gift if you do this for me". I realized over time that people just wanted to be part of such a momentous day for me and my husband. And I realized, over time, that I probably would have done the same for them. 

I remain eternally grateful to the helpers.

3. Parents Keep Everything

Ten years ago, I wrote a letter to my father. On my wedding day, he read that letter to everyone. It was laminated. I don't think there was a dry eye in the building.

4. There's Really Nothing to Stress Over

I take pride in the fact that I was a "low maintenance" bride, and that I kept myself fairly level-headed throughout the planning process. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the jitters when I was all of 15 minutes late to my ceremony. I forgot to put the train down on my dress. Woops. The thing is, nobody noticed, and the night went on, and if anything went wrong, I was completely unaware of it and had the best time of my life.

I'm going to try to remember this the next time, on just a plain old regular day, I can't find a shirt that isn't wrinkled.

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My wedding was perfect, even if there were imperfections. My marriage is magical, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat - exactly the same way.