1) Family that cares
Often, I get annoyed of my family. "Really, do you have to force your way into doing things for me? I'm not a child anymore!" But in reality, I am aware that not everybody has the privilege I get when it comes to family. I have a father who has shoveled my snow on a work lunch break. I have a mother who - damned if she doesn't - will always let you know a "better" way to get things done. My sister is the most amazing mother to her children that I've ever witnessed, and on top of it, she's never said no if she can be there for others.
In addition, I've gained a family of in-laws - with a mother-in-law who never takes a breath until she knows that guests have been served with a coffee, or today, turkey dinner. My father-in-law has always made a point to include me in conversation - what little of it the small talker participates in. I have a sister-in-law whose driven herself sick being a provider not only financially, but emotionally for her two little girls. My brother-in-law has just undergone an intense surgery, and I can bet you dollars to donuts he'll still be greeting us with a smile and offering booze for today's celebration.
2) A Home Sweet Home
I had some conversations last night about how I dislike my current home. It's not what Jon and I envision for our long-term future, and quite frankly, our neighbours suck. Yet, I'm thankful I have this home. I've realized over the last six years that "not having exactly what I want" has humbled me.
Going back to family, I believe I was raised to never expect or even desire a cushy lifestyle. My mother was a woman who knew that brand name clothing was just superficial. Sometimes I look back at my childhood friends, who grew up in the same cushy area of the city as me, and I realize something happened in my life where I can hold a conversation with the down and out person at the bus stop, where I wonder if those same friends could. My comfort level isn't quite there yet, where I still stand guarded, but I never have left a conversation feeling like I'm better than anyone. Instead, I'm grateful I never had to experience what that person has gone through and hope that they can get to a better place. I don't live in the nicest neighbourhood anymore, but I don't feel like I deserve to either. This is where I am for this point of my life, and my means are equal to those I walk the same streets as.
3) That support system
I've been lucky in the past few years to establish a support system. Beyond my husband, who is forever my own personal counselor and best friend, I have a small and wonderful group of friends. These are the people who I can catch up with when I come out of hiding - as I often become a recluse (side note: I haven't physically socialized with a person beyond family in almost a month, and I feel fine) - and it doesn't feel like much time has passed at all. I also have a strong group of women who make up my volunteering core, and are there when I need the guidance.
The snow is coming down, but there's something beautiful about today.
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