Today I Let You Go

Today, I let you go.

It wasn't an easy decision, and it doesn't mean I didn't value our time together. In fact, it was because I knew that there was a history there, that it was so difficult. I know you did me favours when I couldn't return them, and that you spent money on me when I couldn't afford to pay you back. But at some point, I had to ask myself, should I stick around because I owed you my appreciation, or was hanging on just a form of leading you on to believe something was working when it wasn't?

I had been mulling over leaving you for months. Maybe even a year. I knew I didn't feel right when we spent time together. I knew I came home and would be a different person. I was negative, gossipy, and judgemental of so many things. I can be a negative, gosssipy, and judgemental person on my own accord. I know that. But something about our time together was bringing out the worst of those qualities in me. And then, somewhere along the line, I started being negative, gossipy, and judgemental about you. And that wasn't fair. You didn't know the way I felt after having our conversations, but people who you never even met did. I would tell other people "oh, I have this friend who..." Maybe that was mean of me, but I felt I couldn't tell you. It wasn't something that could be fixed.

You see, the truth is, there was never an issue with you. You never did anything wrong. But our friendship was the issue. Our friendship was wrong. It wasn't based on mutual interests, or ideas, or even mutual enjoyment of each other's presence. It was based on hatred and negativity. And it was eating my soul, and wasting my time.

So now you can see why I had to let you go. And now, you see, there's a reason why I never gave this a chance to be resolved. There's nothing to be resolved. There isn't a problem. It's just not meant to be.

Breaking up isn't just for lovers. This is a break up that will lead you to better things. All of them do. I hope you find the friends you deserve.

So today, I choose to let you go.