A Year as a Missus

A year and six days ago, I became Mrs. Jillanne Fay Bowler-Veltman. The title alone didn't change very much - nobody refers to me as Mrs. anyways. Nothing has changed in my relationship either - I'm still just as much in love with my husband as a year ago. The newlywed high didn't wear off just when my year expired. The last year has been one that I feel is representative of a healthy marriage: not the easiest, with a bit of work, but worth the effort.

A friend of mine, who was married at the time, got up on stage at my wedding and started her speech with "I don't know much about marriage..." Today, I share that sentiment. Here is what I do know:

I never get bored.

Perhaps the thing I love the most about my husband is the feeling that I can continue the conversation. I always have somebody to talk to - who I want to talk to - and with whom I always have new things to talk about. I'm introverted, which often prevents me from being social with friends or family. However, most of the time I don't really feel the need to leave the house, because I get my social fix right at home.

It's never not going to take work

Life is unpredictable, and as such, you can't control everything that's thrown your way. This last year, my husband was suddenly laid off work. I could have thrown a temper tantrum, put up a wall, and reverted to feelings from a previous relationship where I was being manipulated financially. However, I chose to actively support my husband. Not everything will be easy, but being supportive of each other helps you get through the difficult times.

I'm secure in where I'm at

He chose me as his wife, and I would choose him as my husband again if I had the choice. Being married hasn't changed how I feel about my husband, but it has changed how I feel about my future. I'm excited to move forward, and now I have a partner who will help me do it.